Contrary to what politicians have been spouting recently, American energy independence can be accomplished with very simple solutions. These solutions are so obvious, in fact, that it begs the question why these policy modifications have not been implemented. In reality, the reason these changes haven’t been implemented has a straightforward answer as well: limousine liberals do not “really” want energy independence.
If energy independence was their goal, we would never hear anyone tell us that ethanol, wind power, solar power, florescent light bulbs, hybrid cars, or bio-diesel can achieve anything of significance. We would never be bombarded with misinformation from the “glittering gems of colossal ignorance.” We would never be told that using more energy to improve our standard of living and prosperity is an addiction. Moreover, we would not have to sit through ridiculous congressional hearings with “Big Oil” CEOs; maybe I am the only one who watches CSPAN?
So, allow me the daunting task of outlining how we achieve energy independence. In doing so, I will also dispel many of the common myths recapitulated today about our “precious natural resources.” Be amazed at how simple my plan really is.
The first thing we must do is eliminate all regulations imposed on energy producers, including the elimination of all license or permit requirements. Doing this alone will solve our energy troubles, but I have also outlined more fixes within the paragraphs below. Total deregulation will allow small energy companies to enter the market and compete with large conglomerates. This competition will guarantee that there will never be an “energy crisis.” Once small companies enter the market, the supply of energy will increase and the price will plummet. Imagine your electric bill each month being less than $20 and paying less that $1 at the pump for a gallon of gas.
On a side note, even the people who care about the environment will legally be allowed to sell their wind or solar power to their neighbors. Private Citizens are currently prohibited from legally profiting from the energy they produce in most places. Say thank you to big government.
While some may argue that my plan will only help big corporations, it will actually benefit every American citizen including small businesses. Contrary to popular belief, large energy companies want the market to be regulated thereby guaranteeing them with a monopoly over the supply of energy. Big oil continues to be “Big Oil” because nobody can enter the marketplace and compete with them due to governmental imposed barriers to entry. Deregulation would change that.
The next aspect of this deregulation plan would be to allow new refineries to be built. This would also include oil drilling off the coast of Cuba, California, and in Alaska. If we do not do this soon, China will drill near Cuba and we will have to clean up after them. Waiting any longer will be disastrous. At least allow us to get at the oil before China, and use it for our strategic reserve.
Before these plans can take effect, the public must get behind it. However, in order for the public to get behind it, key liberal myths must be shattered. One of the greatest myths that must be dispelled is the fable of fixed natural resources. First, the largest mine ever drilled to exploit any natural resource is ten miles deep. It is 4000 miles to the center of the Earth demonstrating that we have not even scratched the surface. Moreover, our Earth is so packed with natural resources, only a lack of technology prevents us from exploiting them. Second, we are never going to run out of oil for hundreds of years, and by that time, there will be new innovations that will likely displace oil, so long as free enterprise is allowed to thrive. But, until then, we can easily eliminate our reliance on foreign oil by exploiting our own.
Ethanol is not going to cure this problem either. The next time someone tells you that Brazil is energy independent, tell that person that Brazil has only 5% of the energy needs as America. While we could potentially get 5% of our energy source from ethanol, it also has the negative effect of significantly raising the price of food, thereby offsetting any benefits.
The final myth is that drilling in Alaska will hurt the caribou. Actually, caribou live in a very cold climate and have no ability to avoid it. However, whenever man builds gas or oil pipelines near the caribou, the caribou huddle close to it because it is warm. Who would have thought, the caribou do not like to freeze to death either?
The third prong of my plan is to go completely nuclear. We should allow the construction of 500 nuclear plants over the next decade. For the love of god, even France does it; can you get more liberal than France? This has allowed France to have the cleanest air out of all developing countries.
Nevertheless, the limousine liberals perpetuate the fallacy that nuclear energy is dangerous simply because a rundown plant in a communist country had a meltdown many years ago. Don’t tell them that more people have died from vending machines falling on them, glass windows, buckets, and hair dryers, than nuclear plants in America. This nuclear fear is based entirely on ignorance. Either that or the environmentalists are really socialists in disguise.
Finally, when all these simple plans are implemented, we will be completely energy independent. Our economy will skyrocket. We will no longer have to pay homage to the Saudi royal family. Iran and Venezuela’s brutal leaders will no longer have the means to oppress their people. Best of all, the caribou will thank us in Alaska.
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